RESEARCH FLAT EARTH[]
RESEARCH AGARTHA[]
RESEARCH HYPERBOREA[]
RESEARCH HOLLOW EARTH[]
RESEARCH DUNMER CRIME STATISTICS[]
RESEARCH GNOMES[]
RESEARCH ABIGAIL SHAPIRO NUDES FAPPENING[]
RESEARCH CLOUDS MAGNETIC FIELDS AND MALAYSIAN AIRLINES[]
RESEARCH ANTARCTICA (IT IS HIDDEN BENEATH THE ICE)[]
RESEARCH THE HOLOCAUST (((FAKE)))[]
YOU ARE BEING LIED TO BY JEWISH GNOMES[]
Introduction[]
Eight O'Clock Coffee is a brand of coffee founded in 1859, owned by Tata Global Beverages since 2006!
Ok Ok, but what has this got to do with Tobuscus?[]
Tobuscus has (so far) uploaded 2 Eight O'Clock Coffee vidoes, "Eight O'Clock Coffee (Day One)" and "Eight O'Clock Coffee (Day Two)... respectively uploaded on the 4th of December 2006 and on the 6th of December 2006!
Day One plot (Spoiler alert)[]
Toby gets to the kitchen of his old house in Niceville FL, he starts putting the coffee powder in the top of his fancy kettle, and then he pours water in the bottom of his fancy kettle, 7:54!
He then says that "5 minutes... be fine". He then starts stressing out at 7:56, in 2006, he got weird when he stressed out... "C'MON, brew at the speed of... BOIL" and "You take ANY longer than 5 minutes... YOU'RE GONE"!
At 8:00, it finally finishes brewing, Toby calms down a bit. He pours it into his mug, and pours the cream in.
Stupidly, he forgets where his spoon is even though it's right in front of him, he stirs the drink with his finger, and scalds it. He thinks he finally has it, "It's perfect, the day's finally come"... but it turns 8:01, so he has to pour it away :(
Day Two plot (Once again... Spoiler alert)[]
Toby is starting the same process as before, but his friend John Recher walks in, he is very sceptical about what Toby is trying to accomplish. He says "look man, I know what you're doing... you're trying to brew the coffee at Eight O'Clock, and drink it in under a minute!!" John then rebukes Toby for taking the name "Eight O'Clock Coffee" so literally, and then he takes the batteries out of Toby's clock, and Toby says "What are you DOING? How am I supposed to know when it's 8:00 now? ASSHOLE!"
John Recher did this to rub in Toby's belief in the legend of the Eight O'Clock Coffee, he takes a cup and drinks a sip! He thinks he's disproved the legend, but he gets brutally massacred from the inside by the coffee, he ends up on the floor, clutching his neck!
Toby mourns the death of his friend while turning on the sinkhole vacuum sucker, and pouring away his cup of coffee, the coffee shouts obscenities while being poured out.
Toby then digs a grave for John, but Cory Martin came and asked "Where's John?" while holding a cup of the coffee (TOBY FORGOT TO POUR AWAY THE REST OF THE KETTLE)!
"He drank the coffee!" cries a distraught Toby. Cory announces that there is still coffee left, and that he got himself a cup! Toby turns around and puts on a totally undermemed shocked face on, and he cries...
"You drank the coffee? YOU DRANK THE COFFEEEEE!"
Cory Martin dies...
Trivia[]
-Many theorise that this is why we never see Steven, he suffered death by Eight O'Clock Coffee.
-One thing that raises a serious question though, is why they seem to have filmed them in July of 2006, but uploaded them in December of the year... (They have the July page up on their kitchen calendar)