LITERAL The Hobbit Trailer

LITERAL The Hobbit Trailer

Literal Trailer: The Hobbit was uploaded on December 28, 2011 by Tobuscus.


Warner Bros. New Line Metro

Stop to say hello to your eccentric neighbour

The actor who used to play Bilbo is too old

So they recast him

Now he's younger

And Gandalf's still old as hell

No offense Ian McKellan

Ride a mini-horse

Screw it, just walk. Or run

Introduce the strengths of each Companion

Plate throw, arrows, bouncing, cobwebs

Baldness, oldness, left wrist

Happiness, heaviness

Drinking, turning, catching cups

And the leader can sing bass

There he goes...

The leader sings and smokes

And Gandalf too

His mouth barely moves

That guy is old

He stands up slow

The others start singing

And steal the leader's spotlight

Next December

Gandalf has dual wielding

Drop the sword, it's heavy

Walk towards a broke knife

(It's a sword but knife rhymed)

From Peter


Romantic Sunset

Too hot for him

(Unless he's rich)

The front of his staff's a Maglite

And the back's a pipe

Unsheathe unbroken sword

Dramatic whisper. Tension building

Sh** gets real

Mountains spinning 'round the dwarves

Horses spinning 'round the dwarves

Gandalf gonna take his girlfriend up a hill

Flip suspenders

Wizards fighting

Fiery embers

He goes flying

Sun explosion

Door implosion

Panicked turning dishes spinning

Jumping fenses, tension tenses

Sh** gets real again

Careful it's bind on pick up

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Post title bonus shows that

Gollum is just as ugly as before...